a turn

Somewhere along the way, life took a turn.  I really can't pinpoint it, but I can say for sure that it indeed happened.  It's funny, isn't it?  And by "funny," I mean crazy and scary or just plain ole sad. 

I'm not even sure it was just one turn.  And I don't think that first turn was even that noticeable.  Like I said, I really can't pinpoint it.  But quickly enough, it seemed I was no longer walking the same path.  My quiet, pleasant drive through the country turned into a roller coaster ride that mostly wanted to jump the tracks and keep me hanging on for dear life.

And it still hasn't come to an end.  Hasn't even slowed.  Well, that's not exactly true.  Sometimes it slows for a bit only to hit a curve or a hill that takes my breath away. 

Most days, I love roller coasters.  I'm buckled in and my sunglasses are safely stowed away.  I really love the ones in the dark and the ones that go upside down or backwards.  I laugh and holler and hold my hands over my head.  I don't even feel like I need to hold on cause I'm buckled in.  It's holding me in.  Keeping me safe.

This roller coaster of my life isn't quite the same.  In fact, it's crazy.  And scary.  Or just plain ole sad.  Some days I feel like I'm completely in the dark and everything is upside down and I'm pretty sure there's nothing holding me in.  And my sunglasses are long gone.

Thankfully, I'm not alone.  I don't have to do this by myself.  In fact, I can't do this by myself.  I don't know that I'll ever understand why, but my God rides this coaster with me.  He's holding me in. 

"And this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him."
Lamentations 3: 21-24